I’ve decided this blog has two basic ground rules: Every post title is a song or piece of music and the post will always start with clipart (because I just plain like clipart, who doesn’t?) that reminds me of IT lessons circa 1995. Apart from that, it’s a bit of a free for all. Luckily for you my world is pretty much limited to childcare, day time TV and Facebook so I’m hardly likely to start discussing ‘Dostoyevsky’ in depth any time soon. However, here’s a list of things I promise I will NEVER SUBJECT YOU TO:
A recipe for anything: You’ll currently find most of my recipes involve lots of frozen fish fingers, chips and peas shoved into an oven. The fish fingers are interchangeable with chicken nuggets.
Detailed descriptions of my children’s bodily fluids: I might mention them, but I’ll never, ever describe them. Not in depth anyway.
Sponsorship begging for a walk up Ben Nevis/ the Great Wall of China/ the moon.
Talking about my day if all its consisted of is scrubbing the kitchen floor and wiping snotty noses: That’s of interest to no-one. NO-ONE. Not even me.
J-pop/ K-pop/ C-pop: If you don’t know what this is, don’t enlighten yourself. Best keep my weird, would probably completely freak you out, obsessions to myself. Also under this heading is East Asian language/ culture/ politics et al, but obviously East Asia is a world hub of programming activity so I have some relevant to mention in that respect I will. I retain the right to talk about ‘Hello Kitty’ though, everyone needs a bit of ‘Hello Kitty’ in their lives.
Pictures of pets: Not that I have any pets to share with you.
Moan about how ugly/ fat/ annoying I’m feeling at any given time. I have two eyes, a nose and a mouth, I’m a healthy weight and my mind is functional. Go me.
Huge emotional outbursts: That’s what my friends are for.
But my top NO-NO for Appymum is:
Too much technical talk about app developing: because it would be total bullshit. I DO NOT KNOW WHAT I’M TALKING ABOUT! I am completely new to this! If I need to look up a term and then break it down into idiot proof language to explain it to myself then that’s exactly what I’ll put on here, as I don’t want to alienate anybody… Especially myself.
I promised a bit more information on my family so here are some very basic descriptions of my boys:
Husband Ed: Likes cricket, Man United and football manager. Does not need to be nagged to put the bins out, therefore a keeper.
Kamran The kid: Endearingly serious. Do not engage in a conversation about the merits of ‘Star Wars’ vs ‘Star Trek’ or you will be there for hours. Worth his weight in platinum, not gold, PLATINUM for how fantastic he is with his little brothers.
Reuben the toddler: A stereotypical rough and tumble boy who will think nothing of jumping on your head rendering you unconscious. Good for growling at, and throwing food at people. Also fantastic for squishy, dribbly two year old cuddles.
Tobias (Toby) the baby: Personality still very much in the development stages. Main skill so far seems to be getting poo mysteriously outside of his carefully positioned nappy and all over his clothes, yet not a trace of poo remains inside the nappy itself. This screams to me, future politician. No poo sticks to him. The top of his head smells faintly of ‘Grana padano’ which is my favourite cheese so convenient really.
I have a poorly toddler and baby who sounds like he’s possessed by a gremlin to deal with today so all App related activities are suspended until this evening when I can pass them over to Ed. Sweet, unsuspecting Ed :)
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